I recently returned to my Marbella property from the UK, having visited for a few days prior to Xmas. Sure, I was excited about seeing my friends and family, and was looking forward to an evening in the local pub and a spot of shopping in Liverpool´s latest shopping haven, Liverpool One.

Nothing could have prepared me for the reality. Is it just me, or is England ´going to the dogs´?

First of all, when you arrive at Liverpool airport, the first thing to greet you as you leave the plane is the howling wind and incessant rain as you descend the steps to the tarmac below. Has nobody ever heard of air-bridges in the provinces?Then you have to endure a half mile hike in the same conditions, simply to collect your hire car…..that´s if you can find it and it´s parked in the correct bay.

Now you are soaked through, you realize that although it´s only lunchtime, every other car has its headlights on, and that above you is a steely grey sheet of misery, with not a chink of sunlight or blue sky to be seen. Just like the Costa del Sol - NOT!

Rather than a relaxing drive to your destination, you then have to negotiate a series of roadside commands and instructions – DON´T SPEED!, DON´T DRINK & DRIVE!, POLICE SPEED CHECK AREA! My goodness, it´s truly a wonder that there aren´t more accidents with the amount of information that drivers have to absorb in England. Of course, we are all so petrified of breaking any laws that we all sit there, looking grey and miserable, in the grey and miserable weather, travelling at exactly 30mph…unless we are allowed to loosen up a bit to have some fun once we see the 40mph signs ahead!

I ventured to a few pubs with my best mate – bright lights, full of scallies and no non-alcoholic beer available in any of them – that´s a bright idea on the Friday before Xmas! Then you get turfed out unceremoniously at 11.15pm – thank you and goodnight – fun over. It´s little wonder that people binge drink during the run up to closing time.

Anyway, I thought the shops at Liverpool One would be better. Maybe not! Queues upon queues – ok - fair enough, I was shopping at the wrong time of year, but I swear I wanted to commit murder by the time I got to the front of the queue in one store – and so many questions to contend with –
´did I want to buy a lottery ticket?´ - ´no thanks´
´did I want a half price Chocolate Orange with my purchase?´ - ´no thanks´
´did I have a clubcard?´ - ´actually no´
´would I like to complete an application form for one´ - ´not with 70 people in the queue behind me, no thanks´.

And then the weirdest thing of all – why is Liverpool´s latest shopping mall outdoors? Oh, what a waste – no atmosphere, grey skies, more grey people…..and wet through…again!